I am so uncool it is not even funny.

I do not have cool belts

I do not have cool phone applications.

My social calendar is vacant.

I shop vintage because that’s what I can afford.

I read — books.

I don’t drive a flashy car, nor do I refer to it as a ‘whip.’  I prefer the subway.

No flat screen television in my residence.

I don’t care about sneakers.

I have never taken a picture of my food and put it on a social network.

My tattoos are hidden.

I use the mail.  The real mail.

I found my sunglasses on the street.

I do things because I want to or like it.

I do not just want to fit in.

I’m fine with it.

I am the UnCool School.