‘I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful.’

-Marilyn Monroe

Normally I don’t comment on these ‘Quotes of the Day,’ but I felt I owed you all something for some fucking reason since we’ve all been gone. That’s what we do – get used to it. When I took this gig, I was promised I wouldn’t be arrested, or rather that I wouldn’t spend a long time in jail. A week and a half is a long time in stripper years. I almost lost my job to an 18-year old from Kentucky with a botched boob job – until I showed my boss my new jail ‘act.’

I had a lot of time to contemplate things from my little cell. Things like, ‘I wonder if I look better than Lindsay in this jumpsuit?’ ‘Are Snuggies worth the shipping and handling?’ ‘Does Proactiv really work?’ ‘Why did I ever quit using ecstacy?’

‘Why would anyone want to be wonderful?’

What the fuck does that even mean? Wonderful at doing something? Wonderful at being something? Wonderful at feeling wonderful about everything wonderful?

You want to be wonderful? You want a lot of things. You start at wanting a little and then you want too much.

You forget what wonderful means and you think you want that.

Fuck wonderful. Fuck this wonderful path you think you are taking and that corrupts you into thinking how wonderful you are.

We’re all just as un-wonderful as everyone else.

It goes like this:

I’m not interested in money. I just want to have a nice ass.

I just want to be hot.

I just want to be popular.

I just want to be famous.

I just want to be loved by everyone.

I just want to be remembered.

I just want to not get arrested.

I just want to survive.

I just want to fit in.

I just want to be left alone.

I’m not interested in money. I just want to remember what humility looks like.